October 2011
1 post
WatchWatch
wiseguypictures: Michel Jean-Michel: Overexposed  A candid glimpse into the life of the world’s most famous paparazzo. Written and Directed by Giancarlo Fiorentini and Jonathan Grimm. Starring Thomas Middleditch. 
Oct 3rd
9 notes
May 2011
1 post
May 19th
14,198 notes
April 2011
1 post
Very exciting news! wiseguypictures: We are incredibly honored to announce that Facebook Ruins Job Interview has been nominated for Best Writing at this year’s Webby’s! Each category has a People’s Choice Award, so please vote for us here!
Apr 13th
8 notes
February 2011
1 post
WatchWatch
wiseguypictures: “Rachel Maddow Grills Local Politician,” starring Jon Gabrus and Elaine Carroll.
Feb 7th
15 notes
October 2010
1 post
WatchWatch
wiseguypictures: “Residential Foursquare.” Starring Nick Ross. 
Oct 25th
6 notes
September 2010
1 post
Sep 22nd
21 notes
August 2010
2 posts
Aug 30th
4 notes
WatchWatch
wiseguypictures: Facebook Ruins Job Interview. Starring Jon Gabrus and Dominic Dierkes.
Aug 19th
34 notes
July 2010
1 post
WatchWatch
The first video for Wiseguy Pictures, a new website of videos and comics by me and Jonathan Grimm. It stars Josh Ruben and Heather Cavalet.
Jul 20th
23 notes
December 2009
1 post
False Advertising
I bought a bottle of cranberry juice that said “Contains 15% juice.” I sort of felt duped, because I had to buy like five more just to fill it up.
Dec 9th
5 notes
November 2009
5 posts
Old Habits
I think I’ve been single for too long because on Thanksgiving, I asked my grandmother if I could buy her a drink before I started talking to her. I wanted to tell her she looked hot.
Nov 28th
6 notes
Like Father, Or Else, Son
My dad always prided himself on his frugality. Once, I asked if I could have a mirror for my bedroom. Instead, he made my twin brother move into it.
Nov 10th
10 notes
Nov 6th
6 notes
Close Encounters of the Seinfeld Kind
About three months ago while in Los Angeles, Jon and I met with an old friend at the Roosevelt to catch up over drinks. Upon leaving, I thought I recognized a familiar face in the lobby. She was an older woman, probably in her late sixties; an actress I’d seen several times before, but I couldn’t place my finger on exactly where. Whereas I’d normally continue on my way unconcerned, something...
Nov 4th
9 notes
Nov 2nd
13 notes
September 2009
3 posts
Running Joke
I’m such a bad runner, I don’t even know where to begin. So I usually get disqualified.
Sep 17th
8 notes
Sep 17th
5 notes
Sep 14th
24 notes
July 2009
1 post
Jul 3rd
6 notes
June 2009
2 posts
WatchWatch
Lin Manuel Miranda from “In the Heights” came by to star in this Hardly Working with some of “Freestyle Love Supreme.” They don’t give Tony’s away for nothing. 
Jun 15th
84 notes
WatchWatch
Equal parts hilarious and terrifying, “Frat House” is an HBO documentary by a young Todd Phillips that chronicles some utterly insane fraternities during their pledge season. Made in 1998, it was never released due to a lawsuit from those depicted, but is now available in full online. 
Jun 5th
63 notes
May 2009
2 posts
“I was in Toronto and went to see “Life is Beautiful” by myself. When...”
– Christian Bale, officially scaring the shit out of everyone.
May 22nd
9 notes
Music to My Fears
I’m a classically trained pianist. Whenever I made a mistake, my father beat me with “War and Peace.”
May 21st
9 notes
March 2009
3 posts
The Old Man and the Seymour →
Full movie is now online:
Mar 29th
69 notes
WatchWatch
Trailer #2 for “The Old Man and the Seymour.” 
Mar 4th
9 notes
WatchWatch
As my senior project at NYU, I co-wrote and co-directed a 30-minute film with Jonathan Grimm, starring Amir and Streeter. It was shot almost a year ago, but is finally going to make its way online very soon. Here’s the trailer. 
Mar 3rd
45 notes
February 2009
1 post
WatchWatch
If you think this is bad, you should see Jeff during Bleep Bloop. 
Feb 5th
109 notes
January 2009
2 posts
Empire Yesterday
I wonder what the thought process was like for the person who invented carpeting. They just stepped out of bed one morning and were like, “Fuck this shit.”
Jan 4th
11 notes
An amateur mason was resting near his cottage when it hit him like a ton of bricks: next time, don’t forget to use cement.
Jan 2nd
2 notes
November 2008
4 posts
Brotherly Love
I’ve always thought of myself as the type that would be “the crazy uncle.” So I impregnated my sister.
Nov 29th
5 notes
WatchWatch
“What the FUCK happened in here?!” - Vimeo employee’s reaction after walking through the aftermath of this shoot. 
Nov 12th
10 notes
If Neurology was Taught for 12-year-old Boys
“Aneurisms, gentlemen, are like the hershey squirts of brain farts.”
Nov 8th
1 note
Nov 5th
2,505 notes
October 2008
5 posts
Larry David: Waiting for November 4th →
Oct 23rd
2 notes
I thought it was really weird when I saw how jacked Carrot Top is, until I found out he does an arm curl each time one of his jokes bomb.
Oct 20th
I usually feel uncomfortable when I’m in the bathroom and someone starts using the urinal next to me. The other day, some guy gave me this really weird look and was like, “Are you taking a shit?”
Oct 16th
1 note
Alec Baldwin Assumes I'm a Coffee Drinker, and I...
Today, Alec Baldwin asked me for some very important advice. What kind of advice could I possibly impart on Alec Baldwin? Some very important advice: where to get a good cup of coffee.  It was around 6pm and I was walking home from work. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but like a cat, I suddenly sensed a Baldwin in the area. Being near a Baldwin is a difficult sensation to describe,...
Oct 7th
8 notes
Sad State of Affairs
I’m not sure which headline is more depressing.
Oct 5th
2 notes
September 2008
6 posts
Adopted children: the ultimate cougar hunters.
Sep 28th
1 note
WatchWatch
This was me and Jon’s first official Hardly Working, and I think this user comment sums it up best: “I’ve never felt such a combination of repulsion and intrigue in all my life.”
Sep 26th
9 notes
A Manner of Speaking
I don’t like “killing time” because it sounds kind of morbid. Instead, I like “living in the moment.” For instance, sometimes when I’m bored I’ll spontaneously go on a shooting spree. 
Sep 17th
3 notes
“I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago....”
– Woody Allen
Sep 11th
3 notes
Looking back, I feel kind of dirty having played doctor as a little kid with my friend Julie. I guess I was just too naive to think about washing the knife before giving her that liver transplant. 
Sep 6th
1 note
WatchWatch
Before last night, the phrase “Andrea Mitchell attacked by balloons” probably had zero results on Google. No longer so. 
Sep 5th
1 note
August 2008
7 posts
My, Robot
If I ever built an ultra lifelike robot, the first thing I’d teach it is how to do the Robot. Then people wouldn’t know what to think. 
Aug 27th
I don’t know who started the myth that mixing pop rocks and coke will kill you. In me and my friends’ experience, the pop rocks are completely unnecessary. 
Aug 22nd
1 note
WatchWatch
This is an old sketch I co-wrote and directed with Jon Grimm. It’s part of a project called The Experiment, which we made for a class two years ago while at NYU. One of the other sketches can be seen here, with Streeter Seidell as The Doctor. 
Aug 22nd
4 notes
Bruce Vilanch Receives a Prostate Exam
Aug 15th
WatchWatch
I was lucky enough to attend this show at Other Music. Watching someone I’d previously seen perform at Radio City in this way was definitely a treat. Here’s a better video by someone else of the show.
Aug 13th
How Most Conversations with my Dentist Usually Go
Dentist: (cleaning my teeth) Some beautiful weather we’re having, huh? Me: Ahhra uhahh. Dentist: I’ll say. Hmm, it looks like you’re having a little trouble reaching those wisdom teeth. How often do you floss? Me: Ahhrahh rahh uhah ruahh. Dentist: Do you use a soft bristle toothbrush? Me: Ahhrah uhrah rah. Dentist: And what’s the sound a walrus makes? ...
Aug 12th
1 note