October 2011
1 post
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
1 post
Very exciting news!
wiseguypictures:
We are incredibly honored to announce that Facebook Ruins Job Interview has been nominated for Best Writing at this year’s Webby’s! Each category has a People’s Choice Award, so please vote for us here!
February 2011
1 post
October 2010
1 post
September 2010
2 posts
#shamelessselfpromotion
Please check out the WiseguyPictures Twitter, where I’ve started posting daily jokes with Jon Grimm. We only have 6,289,760 more followers to go until we trump Lady Gaga!! Help us do it!
August 2010
3 posts
Raphael Saadiq - “Big Easy”
July 2010
1 post
WatchThe first video for Wiseguy Pictures, a new website of videos and comics by me and Jonathan Grimm. It stars Josh Ruben and Heather Cavalet.
December 2009
1 post
False Advertising
I bought a bottle of cranberry juice that said “Contains 15% juice.” I sort of felt duped, because I had to buy like five more just to fill it up.
November 2009
5 posts
Old Habits
I think I’ve been single for too long because on Thanksgiving, I asked my grandmother if I could buy her a drink before I started talking to her. I wanted to tell her she looked hot.
Like Father, Or Else, Son
My dad always prided himself on his frugality. Once, I asked if I could have a mirror for my bedroom. Instead, he made my twin brother move into it.
Close Encounters of the Seinfeld Kind
About three months ago while in Los Angeles, Jon and I met with an old friend at the Roosevelt to catch up over drinks. Upon leaving, I thought I recognized a familiar face in the lobby. She was an older woman, probably in her late sixties; an actress I’d seen several times before, but I couldn’t place my finger on exactly where. Whereas I’d normally continue on my way unconcerned, something...
September 2009
3 posts
Running Joke
I’m such a bad runner, I don’t even know where to begin. So I usually get disqualified.
July 2009
1 post
June 2009
2 posts
WatchLin Manuel Miranda from “In the Heights” came by to star in this Hardly Working with some of “Freestyle Love Supreme.” They don’t give Tony’s away for nothing.
WatchEqual parts hilarious and terrifying, “Frat House” is an HBO documentary by a young Todd Phillips that chronicles some utterly insane fraternities during their pledge season. Made in 1998, it was never released due to a lawsuit from those depicted, but is now available in full online.
May 2009
2 posts
“I was in Toronto and went to see “Life is Beautiful” by myself. When...”
– Christian Bale, officially scaring the shit out of everyone.
Music to My Fears
I’m a classically trained pianist. Whenever I made a mistake, my father beat me with “War and Peace.”
March 2009
3 posts
The Old Man and the Seymour →
Full movie is now online:
February 2009
2 posts
The CollegeHumor Show
Over the last few years, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing a group of really funny people go from producing a few very popular internet videos to producing a lot of very popular internet videos and a (soon-to-be) very popular television show. Although it is surreal to see things like this and this on billboards and television, the inevitable success of the people behind it isn’t at...
WatchIf you think this is bad, you should see Jeff during Bleep Bloop.
January 2009
2 posts
Empire Yesterday
I wonder what the thought process was like for the person who invented carpeting. They just stepped out of bed one morning and were like, “Fuck this shit.”
An amateur mason was resting near his cottage when it hit him like a ton of bricks: next time, don’t forget to use cement.
December 2008
1 post
Lloydian Analysis
I wish I had known about this show when it was on T.V.
Another funny one with Ralph Macchio.
November 2008
4 posts
Brotherly Love
I’ve always thought of myself as the type that would be “the crazy uncle.” So I impregnated my sister.
Watch“What the FUCK happened in here?!” - Vimeo employee’s reaction after walking through the aftermath of this shoot.
If Neurology was Taught for 12-year-old Boys
“Aneurisms, gentlemen, are like the hershey squirts of brain farts.”
October 2008
5 posts
Larry David: Waiting for November 4th →
I thought it was really weird when I saw how jacked Carrot Top is, until I found out he does an arm curl each time one of his jokes bomb.
I usually feel uncomfortable when I’m in the bathroom and someone starts using the urinal next to me. The other day, some guy gave me this really weird look and was like, “Are you taking a shit?”
Alec Baldwin Assumes I'm a Coffee Drinker, and I...
Today, Alec Baldwin asked me for some very important advice. What kind of advice could I possibly impart on Alec Baldwin? Some very important advice: where to get a good cup of coffee.
It was around 6pm and I was walking home from work. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but like a cat, I suddenly sensed a Baldwin in the area. Being near a Baldwin is a difficult sensation to describe,...
Sad State of Affairs
I’m not sure which headline is more depressing.
September 2008
8 posts
Adopted children: the ultimate cougar hunters.
WatchThis was me and Jon’s first official Hardly Working, and I think this user comment sums it up best: “I’ve never felt such a combination of repulsion and intrigue in all my life.”
This morning I had a real eye-opening experience. I woke up.
A Manner of Speaking
I don’t like “killing time” because it sounds kind of morbid. Instead, I like “living in the moment.” For instance, sometimes when I’m bored I’ll spontaneously go on a shooting spree.
“I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago....”
– Woody Allen
Looking back, I feel kind of dirty having played doctor as a little kid with my friend Julie. I guess I was just too naive to think about washing the knife before giving her that liver transplant.
WatchBefore last night, the phrase “Andrea Mitchell attacked by balloons” probably had zero results on Google. No longer so.